Olly's Onions: Heather: Paul has favourable press

Gold-digger Lady Mucca Mills-McCartney today falsely claimed that coverage of her divorce battle has been biased in favour of former husband Paul McCartney. Sir Paul, pictured, is maintaining a perfect, divine silence on the matter.

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Close result expected in Iceland referendum on whether to repay billions
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Ashes: South Africa on verge of victory
Jack Tweed: Orgies help me get over whatsername
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Cricket: Relief as England turn out to be shit after all
Nick Clegg: Do you want to see my cock?
Newly freed Ronnie Biggs "just looking" at train schedules
Swine flu website crashes after 9 million hits an hour from journalists
Swine flu: Pregnant women advised to avoid Andy Burnham
Swine flu: Enjoy your last moments says government advisor
Baron Cohen already planning next umlaut
Cameron apologises to gays, straights
Wimbledon: Scottish bloke through, name escapes me
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Griffin: Stop being racist against fascists
Most of Michael Jackson dead - Reports
Boost for ink industry as MPs' expenses published
MPs go redact themselves
Polly Toynbee appointed to Iran's Guardian Council
Caroline Flint: Gordon Brown questioned my loyalty, the fucking bastard
Boost for egg trade as BNP takes seats in Euro election
Davina McCall appointed housing czar
Turns out Gordon Brown had Presbyterian upbringing
Jacqui Smith quits to spend more time with family's porn collection
Queen 'totally fucked off' with Britain's Got Talent result
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Sleaze: Ducks to have bills scrutinized
Errant Tory MPs to be exiled to Duck Island
Douglas Hogg quits to spend more time with his moat
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Cameron orders review of second swimming pool allowance
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Journalists horrified at expense claims
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Joey Barton to replace Damian McBride at No10
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Tory smears: Dale, Fawkes sporting proud erections
Steven Gerrard's acquittal adjourned to July
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Newcastle appoint fourth Messiah since beginning of season
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Irish not planning to go overboard for St Patrick's Day
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Guardian admits wanting to shag Damon Albarn
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Colombian rebels tricked into adopting amusing name
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Shami Chakrabarti demands Wimbledon wild card
Steve Rider's hair signs new contract with ITV
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Quantum mechanics: three more arrests
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Mars probe finds Brown not popular there either
George Monbiot attempts citizen's arrest on John Bolton's moustache
Brown faces leadership challenge over Eurovision fiasco
Police carry out controlled explosion on John Humphreys
Diana Inquest: We agree with verdict say relieved Illuminati
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Mugabe lagging well behind in Zimbabwe poll
Mugabe concedes after poll humiliation
All football managers named Phil to be designated 'Big" from today
£120,000 a week could ease the pain admits tearful John Terry
Half of UK school test results still below average; Brown must take blame, say Tories
Cherie Booth: That Tony Blair can kiss my arse, too
Ant and Dec criticised for misleading public about their height
Outrage as website reveals some Italians pay tax
Memoirs: Lord Levy to invoice Blair
Hull evacuated after John Prescott reveals battle with bulimia
Mosley demands strict punishment from Formula One bosses
Heston's gun surprisingly easy to pry from cold, dead fingers
Nick Clegg: Do you want to see my cock?
Olympic Torch to claim political asylum
British Union of Formula One considers name change
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Mugabe delays result of Diana inquest
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Foul stench descends on Downing Street
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Diana verdict: Gross waste of time and money
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David Cameron apologises for own existence
Daily Express apologises for own existence
Ashley Cole apologises for own existence
Also Sprach Zarathustra shoots up charts
New governor of New York admits sleeping with everybody
Darling: Heavy drinkers got us into this mess in the first place
Prostitute apologises to family over association with NY governor Eliot Spitzer
Budget: Planned 2p rise in duty on improbably dark eyebrows postponed until October
FA Cup to be renamed Autoglass Trophy
Eric Hall resigns from Obama campaign after "monster, monster" gaffe
Tories propose duty hike on alcopops; no news on Bollinger '61
Gary Gygax fails final saving throw
Lee Jasper resigns after leaked email exposes poor grasp of grammar
Autoerotic Asphyxiation Society announce "different kind of" plastic bag crackdown
Millions unhurt in earthquake
Castro retirement speech enters third day
Blonde woman not murdered by psychopath
Mitty set to testify at Diana inquest
Georgian tycoon death: anti-moustache activists questioned
Tie-dye t-shirt industry faces global slump after Camden fire
Heather Mills to sue remaining leg
Tory party to hand itself in at local police station
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Mitt Romney withdraws 'for the sake of the wallet I love'
Survey: Jack Straw really bugs a lot of people
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Bill Clinton to Obama: "Your mama”
BA pilot critical of new third runway at Heathrow
Peter Hain takes up simple sword of truth and trusty shield of British fair play
Bobby Fischer: it's the Jews wot done 'im in
Tories: Our secret donations are less illegal than Labour's
Societe Generale trader was funding Hain's deputy leadership campaign
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Rott Mimney, or whatever, wins US election
Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
Giuliani: Did I mention 9/11?
Romney: Nine wives for every voter
CBeebies abandons plans to screen Trainspotting
Ferguson gives Man Utd players day off from orgy training
God: I will not be voting Lib Dem at next election
Pop group to release record not sung in exaggerated regional accent
Tommy Sheridan swears on oath that he is not now nor has he ever been charged with perjury
Legendary pioneer of wife beating Ike Turner dies at 76
Elderly to be given more choice on when and where they are murdered in their own beds
UK's super-rich: Would they like a hand with anything?
Sudan accuses Turner Prize committee of "taking the piss"
Iranian intelligence: US stopped having credible military deterrent in 2003
Tommy Sheridan: I am working class and I have a cute two year old. How could you accuse me?
Gillian Gibbons wins Turner Prize
Cheney doctors shocked by heart discovery
David Cameron comes out against rape, no decision yet on murder
Emergency meeting of Cobra to discuss No.10 sandwich order
Lib Dems publish timetable for removal of next leader
Loss of benefit data including children's names & addresses - Father Christmas denies involvement
Sarkozy renames brioche "freedom buns"
McCartney-ex Heather demands William Blake retract 'Dark Satanic Mills' allegation
Simply Red pencil in money-spinning reunion tour for 2015
Lady Macca: My leg was abducted too
Sharp fall in Tory party membership applications by one-legged Lithuanian lesbians
Dumbledore is new frontrunner in Lib Dem leadership contest
Television programme "not completely made up"
Shadow Chancellor to change name again, this time to Garth
Nick Robinson diagnosed with Foot and Mouth, to be culled tomorrow
New calls for global boycott of John Pilger
Saudis to increase production of beard dye to 11m barrels a day
Postal workers accused of 'British practices' at Bilbao sorting office
Cheese-lover Lewis Hamilton to move to Switzerland
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David Cameron to recite Pi to 1000 decimal places
A-levels: Record number of newspaper pictures of attractive female students
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Next Bin Laden video to include director's commentary and alternate ending
Control orders to be imposed on all school caretakers
Jack Straw makes citizens arrest on four more cabinet members
Michael Fish: "But the dog ate my homework"
Mourinho "to appear to followers on the third day"
Socks the Blue Peter cat hires top QC
Cuddle Cat hires top QC
Outrage and disbelief as police accuse middle class couple
Faithful gather as Christ's face appears on Ming Campbell's scalp
Foot and Mouth lab leak: Police suspect evil scientist bent on world domination
Brown's first 100 days: Famine expected next Thursday
Rest of UK wants devolution for Edinburgh Festival
New Robin Williams movie: three more arrests
Stocks rise in opera themed puns
Actor "too funny" to be paedo
May: Fat bottomed girls ate my thesis
Ryanair to fly to Richistan from Luton
Bowser enters Big Brother house
Brown: five bowls of salty porridge a day for every child
Charles Kennedy to apply for astronaut training
Bowsers to compete in Crufts '08
Tour de France riders "more loaded than cabinet"
Home Office to re-classify cannabis once it has finished blazing a fat blunt
Ming Campbell wants Bowser to be Lib Dem candidate for London Mayor
Campbell diary: fists flew the day I ordered myself to resign
Planet "fucked" says Le Bon
Bin Laden's deputy receives honorary MBE; goes mental
Health institute NICE rejects provision of heavenly virgins on NHS
Gordon Brown to grant independence to Ed Balls
Terror alert downgraded from "Critical" to "Run, run for your lives"
House prices to increase exponentially says mathematician hired by Daily Express
Huge manhunt as BBC's Alan Johnston on the loose again
Al Qaeda condemns standards in science teaching
Duty free flaming sambucas banned at all Scottish airports
West End traffic wardens: we will not let terrorists destroy our way of life
Olympic Torch to claim political asylum
Karadzic's beard released without charge
Fury as conditions in Basra continue to improve
Mandelson returne to solve mortgage crisis
UK sold to private equity firm
Lord Ashcroft demands refund

Tuesday, 18 March 2008

Heather: Paul has favourable press

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