Friday, 30 January 2009
Tuesday, 27 January 2009
Monday, 26 January 2009
Sunday, 25 January 2009
Thursday, 22 January 2009
Conspiracy theorist Ted Byrd died yesterday moments after watching Chief Justice John Roberts and "President" Barack Obama stumble through the oath of office during the inauguration in Washington. Byrd, who has lately claimed that Obama is ineligible for office, suffered a massive and fatal erection whilst watching the ceremony on Fox News.
Friends of Byrd say he died a happy man. "He pointed at the television and said 'He's not technically President,' and then he keeled over," said pal Jim Lawrence today. "His last words were 'That awkward syntactic muddle had all the hallmarks of the Illuminati,' and then he was gone. It's the way he would have wanted it," he added.
The White House today would only confirm that the new President is a puppet of the military-industrial complex hellbent on profitable endless war and suppression of the peoples of the world.
Wednesday, 21 January 2009
Tuesday, 20 January 2009
Monday, 19 January 2009
Sunday, 18 January 2009
Friday, 16 January 2009
Thursday, 15 January 2009
Tuesday, 13 January 2009
Monday, 12 January 2009
Gordon Brown has placed the entire British film industry under house arrest after Kate Winslet's poorly acted, embarrassing and self-important acceptance speech at Sunday's Golden Globe awards. Winslet and her fellow over-emoters are also to be banned from talking about their feelings or referring to their work as "remarkable" or "extraordinary".
Explaining his actions, Gordon Brown said this evening "This embarrassing behaviour must stop. I'll let them out when they realise all they do is dress up and read out other people's words whilst pouting".
Israel faces a new front against a foe potentially more dangerous than Hamas, Hezbollah or Iran. A fierce battle for territory is being fought over the Best UK Blog section of the 2008 Weblog Awards, the winners of which traditionally go on not to win an Academy Award next month.
Neil Clark, last year's winner of the Weblog Awards in the thankfully discontinued Most Unspeakable Twat category, and an extremely well-respected blogger, anti-imperialist and champion of oppressed Muslims everywhere (except quislings and Bosnians), has waged a one-man rearguard action against Israel. Clark, 7, has been a lone voice of principle in a blogosphere too ready to condemn Hamas' modest, home-made rocket fire into Israeli cities and too quick to offer thoughtful commentary on an intractable conflict. Too often critics of Israel have been reluctant to demonise Israel and Zionists, and Clark rightly notes that it is only recently that protesters have felt able to compare Israel to the Nazis.
Israel has responded to Clark with disproportionate force by calling in overnight votes from the US in favour of Melanie Phillips, which is unfair, wrong and Zionist.