Boris Johnson renews call for better conditions for first time prisoners

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Boris Johnson hits out at "stifling orthodoxy"

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That would be an ecumenical matter

Former Craggy Island priest, Father Ted Crilly, has been suspended as London deputy mayor pending an investigation into allegations of financial misconduct while he was still a man of the cloth. Father Ted was originally sent to Craggy Island by Bishop Leonard Brennan for allegedly misappropriating church funds in an episode known as "that Lourdes thing", a charge that Crilly denies. "I swear the money was just resting in my account," Father Ted says. Mayor Boris Johnson came out in support of his deputy mayor by telling reporters to "Feck off!"

Boris Johnson appoints new race adviser

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Man seeks cure for months of hiccups

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Doctors suggest a horrible shock might help.

London Mayor latest: Boris Johnson core vote out in force

London Mayor election: Boris Johnson to set up fund to help disadvantaged youngsters

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London Mayor election: Boris Johnson unveils campaign team

Fury as baggage continues to pile up

Boris Johnson's political baggage is piled so high that experts predict his bid to become London mayor may topple at any moment. Meanwhile London voters, sickened at the prospect of the adulterous, racist associate of criminals becoming mayor, are heading for Heathrow's new Terminal 5 in their thousands.

Boris: I am descended from Martians

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Millions hit by vomiting bug

Millions of Londoners have been struck down with severe nausea at the thought that Ken Livingstone might be re-elected Mayor in May. Unusually high levels of vomiting were reported as Londoners realised that Boris Johnson is the alternative. The only cure for "voter vomiting virus", as the Livingstone bug is called, is the destruction of Israel and the stoning of gays.

Poverty increasing - study

A study published today reveals that the gap between tory ambition and tory resources is greater than at any time during the last forty years. Poverty of talent is particularly acute amongst the drug riddled Etonite enclaves of west London.