Friday, 26 March 2010
Thursday, 25 March 2010
Wednesday, 24 March 2010
Tuesday, 23 March 2010
The passage of healthcare reform in the US was achieved by unprecedented totalitarian tactics, leading Republicans claim. By following US rules that govern how legislation is written by an elected Congress, Democrats have sidestepped more accepted totalitarian methods of repression, diktat and violence, Republicans say.
"They used their filibuster-proof, 60-vote majority to pass it in the Senate. They used their majority control of the House to pass it there. This was all accomplished by a Democratic President who won the election with the most votes in history after making healthcare reform a daily commitment on the campaign trail," House minority leader John Boehner said. "No totalitarian regime in history would have ever contemplated doing it this way. Shame on them."
"It's Armageddon!" Republican Party chairman Michael Steele said. "Aaaaaggghhh!!!" he added.
Following further revelations about prominent Labour politicians peddling themselves for cash, Gordon Brown is thought to be weighing up the next steps for his Government. One option under consideration is to put in a formal request for a military coup. A mass visit to Dignitas has also not been ruled out. The Prime Minister's spokesman, commenting on the latest sleeze allegations, said "Oh fuck it. What's the point?"
Monday, 22 March 2010
Stephen Byers today furiously condemned those who questioned his dishonesty, following tonight's Channel 4 Dispatches documentary. Byers, who was recorded claiming to have successfully influenced legislation for National Express and Tesco, today stated that nothing he said could be believed by anyone. "My pants are on fire," he explained, "and I will say anything for cash. Everything I say is a lie."
"Or is it?" he added.