Lap dancing - not exploitation but accountancy

Lap dancing clubs are not part of the sex industry it was announced today; lap dancing clubs have absolutely nothing to do with sex or the use of woman as sexual objects.

This clarification was provided by the Lap Dancing Association who pointed out that lap dancing clubs are actually providing an accountancy service for clients and there is no sexual gratification involved. The accountant (usually a woman) is using her fingers, toes and other body parts to keep a running tally on the accounts for the client. The part of the dance where the lap dancer writhes and proffers her genital area to the client is actually a form of audit which allows the client to check that the numbers have been calculated accurately.

Feminists were embarrassed today at discovering their mistake. "We feel so silly" said their spokesperson.