Discoveries shed new light on Primitive Man

Two new tribes of primitive man, apparently living in the Stone Age and unaware of modern conveniences such as rational thought, have been discovered hidden deep in the 21st century. The first, whom scientists have named “Evolutionary Anthropologists” demonstrate an astonishing ability to reduce complex human behaviour to a series of sexual stereotypes about hunter gatherers and nurturers. They believe that women prefer pink because women spent millennia sorting through berries in a dimly lit cave – rather than, say, because they read the Financial Times and go salmon fishing. The second group, “Simplisticus Economicus” worship a very primitive form of economics and display a morbid fear of women. “We don’t know how they survived,” said one scientist, “but we think they might help us understand the evolution of the Daily Mail”.