"Women are stupid, vain and shallow" - Observer Editor

A dangerous shortage of stories about Kate Moss, pictures of Kate Moss and tittle tattle about Kate Moss threatens the existence of Observer Woman Magazine, Olly's Onions has learned. The monthly magazine, which specialises in body-hatred, neurotic panic about ageing and the promotion of plastic surgery, botox and nasty but expensive handbags, marks an interesting departure for the Observer which was founded over two centuries ago as a forum for liberal politics and independent journalism. "We are trying to plug the Kate Moss gap with pictures of other models wearing clothes and more drivel about it-bags but we don't know whether we can hold out. It can't be long before we're forced into writing something intelligent" a spokesman said.