Knock off gear provides nice little earner for Queen

The Queen has her own lockup, it was revealed this week, as Customs & Excise admitted that smuggled goods, fags and drugs had been nicked from the depot - officially titled "The Queen's Warehouse". The Queen and a sheepskin coat-wearing Prince Philip are thought to make regular trips to the lockup, usually in a yellow three-wheeled Robin Reliant. A spokesman for the Royal family refused to comment on claims that Prince Philip was indeed "a plonker".