Winter Olympics: British cross country skier disqualified

Surely the judges must come down like a ton of bricks on that.

Sapland theme park to close

It was billed as a magical wonderland but yesterday standards agencies stepped in to close down a David Cameron theme park. Thousands of complaints had been received from visitors saying the attraction was a ‘scam' and did not live up to its billing. Action was taken after disappointed families had threatened two elves who were today named as George Osborne and Alan Duncan.