A timely warning

Nanotechnology used to identify Conservative policies

Scientists are using nanotechnology to identify microscopic strands of Tory policy. The tiny policies are on a molecular scale - just a few millionths of a millimetre wide - and were previously thought to be too small to see, but researchers have given a stark warning about the implications of the breakthrough. "The real fear in all this is that the policies may soon become self-replicating nanomachines, multiplying uncontrollably and devouring the Earth in a grey goo," said Professor Welland of the Royal Academy of Engineering. Scientists now think that something similar happened during the Major administration.