Ban this heartless event beg lonely singles

Valentine's Day misery broke out today as hundreds of lonely singles took to the streets to campaign for an end to the annual celebration which they argue excludes the sad and the single. Sickened by the proliferation of teddy bears with cute slogans and heart-shaped chocolates wrapped in pink foil, the lonesome campaigners demanded that something be done to halt the callous trade in giant padded cards from Clintons and garage-sourced red roses wrapped in cellophane.
"It's just so unfair" sobbed one protestor, "It's hard enough being single without having it rubbed in every Valentine's Day. Honestly, if I see another oversized bouquet of flowers delivered to the office today, I'm just going to kill myself".