Cameron demands keys to No.10, disappears in puff of logic

Tory leader David Cameron this morning called for Gordon Brown to step aside after the Labour party lost its commons majority. "The people have delivered a clear verdict on this failed administration. The Labour party has no mandate to govern and Gordon Brown cannot continue as Prime Minister. It is now time for the Conservative party to form a Government because we, er, we have a clear mandate, no hang on, we got more, wait, not quite half, but still lots, and we were first past the post, nearly, and anyway it's my turn. Oh shit," said Mr Cameron. "Shit, shit shit," he continued. "Bollocks," he added.