London Man not giving up on Kate Winslet

A Londoner spoke tonight about how he still has hopes of meeting and marrying film star Kate Winslet. David Burns says that although he is older now than when his obsession began over ten years ago, he feels he is still in with a chance with the newly separated star. He is encouraged by recent developments, he says. "Since my own divorce I've been writing to Kate more often than before," says the lawyer from his home in Camden. "By chance I discovered that her agent's office is near mine so I can pop round there most lunch times to leave presents for Kate. Little things, really. Things I've made," he says. Burns, 41, has vowed never to give up on his dream. "When she finally sees the many, many photographs I've sent her I'm certain she'll give me a call," he adds.

Police probe London man

A London man is being questioned at the high security Paddington Green police station after an extraordinary outburst at work. A police spokesman confirmed that a 41 year old man, thought to be Camden lawyer David Burns, is being detained. "Officers were called to offices in Central London yesterday afternoon after the suspect was asked in a meeting what was on his mind. The suspect's answer to that question has now been running for more than fourteen hours and has led to several promising lines of enquiry."

London man: my internet shame

A court has heard how a London man was arrested after he admitted to police that he had not joined any social networking sites whatsoever. David Burns, a lawyer, claims he couldn't bring himself to join Facebook or My Space saying he already had enough things to feel insecure and unhappy about in life. Burns, 41, denies any wrongdoing. The trial continues.

In other news: Facebook is CIA tool.

London man still not given up on Winslet

A Londoner spoke this week about how he has retained his decade long hope of meeting and marrying film star Kate Winslet. David Burns says that although he is older now than when his obsession began over ten years ago, he feels he is still in with a chance with the married star. He is encouraged by recent developments, he says. "Since my divorce I've been writing to Kate more often than before," says the lawyer from his home in Camden. "By chance I discovered that her agent's office is near mine so I can pop round there most lunch times to leave presents for Kate. Little things, really. Things I've made." Burns, 41, has vowed never to give up on his dream. "When she sees the photographs I'm certain she'll give me a call," he adds.

London man understands almost nothing

A Londoner admitted this week that he understood little of how things really work. David Burns, 41, a Camden lawyer, told reporters he was utterly bewildered by most things. "Despite - or perhaps because of - a good liberal education and a successful career in the law I haven't got a clue about anything that's really important," he said. "I mean, I've got absolutely no idea about science, or medicine, or anything that makes a damn difference to any one's lives." Mr Burns was speaking outside Tufnell Park tube station on his way to his office where he is currently working on a large fraud case. He added: "And don't get me started on helicopters."