Met to review policing methods once they've finished kicking the shit out of everyone

A review of public order policing ordered by the Metropolitan commissioner, Sir Paul Stephenson, will begin as soon as everyone has finished having the crap beaten out of them by police, he said today. The commissioner was speaking as concerns mounted over police handling of the G20 protests earlier this month. "G20 was a complex policing operation and it was not an easy job keeping public order while maintaining the lawful right of innocent police officers to get punters in the back of the van and giving them a right good kicking," he said. Sources at Scotland Yard say they hope to have given everybody a good going over by the middle of next week.

Police warn of impending 'Summer of George'

The UK risks a wave of layabouts indulging in petty grievances against imagined slights, in what police warn could become a "Summer of George". Given free rein by post-employment severance packages, stocky, slow-witted men are likely to end up with too much time on their hands, taking mid-morning naps and growing moustaches. Other themes vying to be the leitmotif of the summer include rage, despair and excitable police officials taking up headline space.

Police State Britain: Dissidents rounded up, will face firing squad

Full TERRIFYING story.

Anti-Scientology protestor arrested for poor grasp of spelling

Story.


What a silly cult:



h/t B&W

Now Harman admits 'I won't walk down a street alone at night'

Harriet Harman has joined Jacqui Smith in admitting that she does not feel safe to walk the streets alone at night. Ms Harman, who is being investigated because she accepted an illegal donation to her Labour deputy leader campaign, said: "I certainly wouldn't walk around the streets alone at night. There are far too many police officers around. I could get arrested any minute."

Update.

Large turnout expected at police pay rally

Thousands of police officers are expected to attend a rally at Westminster to protest against the proposed three year pay deal. The million strong march on 23rd January has been organised by the Police Federation. A spokesman said: "Our members feel strongly about this issue which is why we anticipate that more than ten million officers will travel to London from all over the country to make their feelings known."

UPDATE. Police now estimate that a billion officers will attend the rally.

Police to get extra powers

Government proposals to give the police controversial new powers have been criticised by the Opposition and civil liberties campaigners.
The Home Secretary, Jacqui Smith, outlined the new powers in an interview yesterday. "In this complex world, the police need greater powers to counter the serious threats we face. The old ways of masks and capes will no longer do. The police need to be able to regenerate from the most serious wounds, travel through time, and be really telekinetic. For up to 56 days."
The embattled Metropolitan Police Commissioner, Sir Ian Blair, facing renewed calls for his resignation, backed up Ms Smith. "Save the cheerleader, save the world," he said. "Do you want to see me fly or go invisible?"

Yates: The question Blair refused to answer in honours inquiry

Do you have a licence for that minkey?

Super sleuth Assistant Commissioner John Yates investigates his next case

Elementary, my dear Yates.

Cash-for-honours: No evidence is indicative of guilt, say police

Scotland Yard sources say that the lack of evidence in the cash-for-honours inquiry almost certainly proves that criminal offences have been committed. Police are investigating whether political parties broke the law in recommending peerages for donors but have found no evidence of wrongdoing - a clear indication, says a high ranking police source, of criminal activity. "We think it highly suspicious that we have uncovered no evidence whatsoever, so we are now investigating a conspiracy to pervert the course of justice," said the source last night. "This case is being conducted just like any other inquiry," he added, "and that's why we are determined to prosecute regardless of whether the evidence exists or not."

Couple's "amiable chat" investigated

Family members and friends reacted with scepticism to reports yesterday that a north London couple chatted amiably last week for more than half an hour. Sean and Daphne Richards, both 39, are said to have discussed a variety of topics including politics, the health of their two children and their plans for the weekend. But Daphne's sister Joan, 42, said yesterday that the story was "a load of rubbish." A friend of the pair added: "I know these two pretty well, and there's no way something like this could have happened." The married couple left their Islington house separately this morning without talking to reporters. Meanwhile police were conducting a forensic search of the property.