The Whitehall Archipelago

A former member of the nomenklatura emerged blinking yesterday from a gulag where he has languished for the last two years. Comrade Turnbull had been banished to a labour camp known as the "House of Lords," where harsh and brutal metaphors are believed to be used, and where inmates, clad only in ermine, are forced to live on a diet of venison and claret.
"I come to denounce Gordon Ivanovitch," Turnbull said, referring to Comrade Brown, who is expected to become General Secretary of the Party and have rival politburo members shot or poisoned after the forthcoming May Day elections. "He is a ruthless man who thinks nothing of sending millions of innocent memos to the shredder and plunging ice picks into the careers of his colleagues."
Leading candidates for Deputy General Secretary, Piotr Hain, Mikhail Meacher and Harieta Harmanovna are reported to have formed a troika, denounced each other and fled to Mexico.