Bin Laden spaceships attack Grover's Mill

Americans' worst nightmares came true today, as spaceships piloted by terrorist mastermind Osama bin Laden and his fellow jihadis attacked the small New Jersey town of Grover's Mill. Al Qaeda planners exploited a previously undetected "healthy scepticism" among US citizens to bring in attack ships armed with heat rays from Mars in the guise of meteors, according to panicky radio reports. US defence networks were caught unawares, despite years of warnings that they should extend their searches to UFOs because they could be terrorists or aliens, or terrorist-aliens. "You must believe me when I tell you that the sky is falling down," says UFO expert Nick Pope. "Why won't anyone listen to me?"