Western imperialism blamed for new outrage

A leading political thinker has criticised the West after his toilet became blocked for the second time in two years. Seamus Milne blames aggressive western imperialism for the incident. "We hear a lot about Stalin’s terror and the monstrosities of Nazism - but scarcely a word on the British and western empires or the horrors they perpetrated," said Milne last night, shaking a toilet brush for emphasis. "This is not a story of simple plumbing but a symptom of a determination to enforce western global hegemony," he added. The incident comes only days after Ronan Bennett's television set broke down, for which the writer blamed US-backed forces in the region.