Shorter Comrade Milne

Weep for Ahmadinejad, who faces an attempted coup by telegenic ELITISTS, which is all Bush's fault. Or Obama. Whatever. Also, weep for Hezbollah.

"Journalist" permitted to "write" about Obama

Zionist fools across the world were "pleased" with the "election" of warmongering racist Barack Obama, reports John Pilger. Obama, who was allowed to be elected by "liberal" "elites", or neocons, or corporate dictators, whatever, like there's a difference, should be strung up from the nearest tree, just like that "Mandela". Can't be choosy.

Death to Amerikka! And Israel obviously! And free drinks at the Student Union this Friday!

Western imperialism blamed for new outrage

A leading political thinker has criticised the West after his toilet became blocked for the second time in two years. Seamus Milne blames aggressive western imperialism for the incident. "We hear a lot about Stalin’s terror and the monstrosities of Nazism - but scarcely a word on the British and western empires or the horrors they perpetrated," said Milne last night, shaking a toilet brush for emphasis. "This is not a story of simple plumbing but a symptom of a determination to enforce western global hegemony," he added. The incident comes only days after Ronan Bennett's television set broke down, for which the writer blamed US-backed forces in the region.

Dunce Desk

Laurel.

Hardy.

Chapeau.

Pilger hits back at "fake sheikh" report

A report in today's News Of The World claims that John Pilger, the writer and campaigner well known for his strong views against the war in Iraq and previous conflicts, was duped by the so called "fake sheikh" into admitting that he secretly supported Tony Blair. The writer is pictured in the newspaper sipping champagne and smoking a cigar at London's Savoy Hotel with the reporter who posed as a member of the Saudi government. Pilger is quoted as saying "Personally I think the interventionist policy in the Balkans, Sierra Leone and Iraq has been absolutely right, but there's a hell of a lot of intellectually lazy and self-righteous people out there who would actually prefer the terrorists to win. Hey, anti-Americanism and hatred of Bush and Blair sells books!" He allegedly added: "Actually some of those neocons are quite nice." Pilger this afternoon described the allegations as "outrageous lies by imperialist crooks."