Pope Benedict: "No, you're welcome"

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Times urgently seeks new religious affairs reporter to cover Vatican sex abuse scandal

Details.

Pope critical of bears' right to shit in woods

Nazi Youth News Desk.

Obama in roving eye furore

Pervert.

Pope delivers Holocaust Memorial Day message

Many thanks. Most helpful.

Pope denies 'Antichrist' claim

Story.

Pope Benedict delivers seasonal message

Story.

Does a bear, when shitting in the woods, realise how ridiculous it sounds?

Celibate man who wears velvet and ermine dresses, red Prada shoes and who is inseparable from his dashing young personal assistant, warns against the blurring of traditional gender roles.

Papal Bull?

Today the Pope apologised for actions which he described as "incompatible" with being a Catholic Priest such as not believing, not turning up to Mass on Sunday, not being very good at lighting candles without burning your fingers and... oh yes, Paedophilia.

George W Bush extends warm welcome to Gordon Brown at the White House

Mother Teresa letters: This whole God thing really is a load of old bollocks

Mother Teresa of Calcutta was tormented by doubts about her faith and for decades privately suspected that religion was "a fetid mountain of horse manure", it has emerged in a newly published book of her letters. Shortly after beginning her work in the slums of Calcutta, she wrote “Where is my faith? It is just so much festering cock and balls, nothing but toxic mumbo jumbo." The letters reveal that for the last nearly half-century of her life she felt no presence of God whatsoever, however the Catholic Church says we shouldn't get the wrong idea. "Many believers get the silent treatment from God," said Pope Benedict this week. "It's just His way of saying hi."

Vatican: strong evidence for evolution

The Vatican has admitted that there is strong evidence that the Pope evolved from a Nazi. The Pontiff, speaking as he was concluding his holiday in northern Italy, was talking about the evolution debate raging across the world. “This clash is an absurdity,” said the Pope. “They are presented as alternatives that exclude each other.”