Anger as devout man spared jail

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God: I did what I believed to be right

Speaking at his long-awaited appearance before the Inquiry into the 2003 invasion of Iraq, God today said that He had only done what He thought was right. God, who arrived at the QE2 centre early to avoid protestors outside, said: "Leadership is about difficult choices. Ultimately I had to make a decision and I truly and honestly believed that creating Tony Blair was the right thing to do. It's a decision I would take again."

First moments of Universe re-created

Cheers mingled with celestial choirs this morning as an experiment got underway to show God as He appeared in the first billionths of a second of His six day project to create light, darkness, the heavens, the Earth and sea, the sun and moon, living creatures, and man in His own image. The totality of creation was described by God after the experiment, as "very good." A spokesman for the project was happy with the outome too. "Here's to the next six thousand years," he said.

God hits back in Sharia law row

Breaking News: Religious Affairs Desk

Answer found to age old theological puzzle.

Hat tip: Nick C

Mother Teresa letters: This whole God thing really is a load of old bollocks

Mother Teresa of Calcutta was tormented by doubts about her faith and for decades privately suspected that religion was "a fetid mountain of horse manure", it has emerged in a newly published book of her letters. Shortly after beginning her work in the slums of Calcutta, she wrote “Where is my faith? It is just so much festering cock and balls, nothing but toxic mumbo jumbo." The letters reveal that for the last nearly half-century of her life she felt no presence of God whatsoever, however the Catholic Church says we shouldn't get the wrong idea. "Many believers get the silent treatment from God," said Pope Benedict this week. "It's just His way of saying hi."

Fight Night - Place your bets

Hosanna.

Museum settles dinosaur dispute

Scientists who have long claimed that dinosaurs were extinct at least sixty million years before mankind walked the earth have been forced back to the drawing board after a newly opened museum successfully challenged their theories. The Creation Museum in Cincinnati, which opened its doors last month, has discredited conventional scientific thought by showing how God created the world - including dinosaurs - as recently as six thousand years ago. Leading paleontologist, Professor Paul Sereno, admits he has had to make an embarrassing climbdown. "I have been impressed by the evidence I have been shown," he says. "We now think it most likely that dinosaurs co-existed with man and indeed lived in the Garden of Eden. We are now also pretty certain that dinosaurs were on board Noah's Ark too, but only the little tiny baby ones."

God still pondering response in Hitchens debate

There was frustration in religious circles this week as God failed to respond to provocative claims made by writer Christopher Hitchens. In his book God is Not Great: Why Religion Poisons Everything, Hitchens writes that Religion is “violent, irrational, intolerant, allied to racism and tribalism and bigotry, invested in ignorance and hostile to free inquiry," but so far God has declined to answer the charges, to the bewilderment of some of His followers. "The same thing happened with Dawkins," said one London churchgoer yesterday. "Why doesn't He strike these people down instead of all this maintaining a dignified silence bullshit?" God was last night unavailable for comment.