Central Bankers look to Bono for advice as markets plunge

Stock markets were calmed today as news emerged that both Bono and actress Emma Thompson were attending the World Economic Forum in Davos. Efforts by central banks and governments to slash interest rates, inject billions of dollars into the system and nationalise failing banks had not managed to stabilise markets but the showbiz pair calmed market nerves with an acoustic rendition of U2 classic "Pride (In the Name of Love)" followed by a recital of the piano scene from "Peter's Friends".
George Soros was thought to have cancelled an emergency meeting with Fed Chief Ben Bernanke in favour of a night in listening to The Joshua Tree.