Thousands of persecuted contributors to the Guardian's Comment Is Free have set up a make-shift refugee camp outside the newspaper's offices in north London. Sheltering in tents and impromptu wooden structures at the camp known as 'Liberty Central,' the refugees are seeking out a mysterious prophet known to some as Po' Rterhe Nry and to others as He' Nrypo Rter. Refugees relate how they have heard people speak of this semi-mythical figure in illegal coffee shops of Hampstead and the underground drinking houses of Islington. "I have brought my family here from far, far away," says one refugee, pointing, "From beyond Muswell Hill. We have been forced to flee our homes because of serious concerns over data protection," he says in hushed tones. "Where else can we go?" Another adds: "The corrupt totalitarian apparatchik control freaks of nu-Labour forced us here. This is worse than the old East Germany. I heard they are collecting our DNA so they can clone us and line their own pockets with the profits." Later in the day a rumour sweeps the camp that the prophet Po' Rterhe Nry is to appear and release them from their oppressors in just a few days. But then an awful realisation takes hold. As one refugee puts it: "Smith's bootboys will never let him speak. Never in a million years."