Vicar kidnappings continue as parents vie for best schools

It emerged last night that two more vicars have been kidnapped by desperate parents hoping to find places in popular local schools. The latest kidnappings took place in London’s trendy Notting Hill and bring the number of kidnappings in the last month to nine. The Archbishop of Canterbury, Dr. Rowan Williams, issued a statement this morning condemning the kidnappings: “The Church of England utterly condemns these criminal acts. Our schools are increasingly popular, but the best way to secure a place for your child is to stuff your principles, go to church every Sunday and help out with the summer fete, just like that nice Mr Cameron.”