Obama conspiracy theorist suffers fatal erection

Conspiracy theorist Ted Byrd died yesterday moments after watching Chief Justice John Roberts and "President" Barack Obama stumble through the oath of office during the inauguration in Washington. Byrd, who has lately claimed that Obama is ineligible for office, suffered a massive and fatal erection whilst watching the ceremony on Fox News.
Friends of Byrd say he died a happy man. "He pointed at the television and said 'He's not technically President,' and then he keeled over," said pal Jim Lawrence today. "His last words were 'That awkward syntactic muddle had all the hallmarks of the Illuminati,' and then he was gone. It's the way he would have wanted it," he added.
The White House today would only confirm that the new President is a puppet of the military-industrial complex hellbent on profitable endless war and suppression of the peoples of the world.