Wednesday, 31 December 2008

Happy New Year from all at FTSE 100


Weblog Awards 2008

The 2008 Weblog Awards

You may, if you can bear the excitement, vote here.

Wednesday, 24 December 2008

Physicist's daughter not comforted by Schrödinger's cat paradox

The nine year old daughter of quantum physics professor Jonathan Carnegie has rejected her father's attempts to comfort her in the wake of the disappearance of her pet cat, Edison. The animal has not been seen for six days after leaving the house last Sunday, and Marie Carnegie is pessimistic about the cat's fate. "I just know he's been run over by a car. I'm so upset, and my dad is just making things so much worse with this dead cat in a box, alive cat in a box, superposition thing," she said today. "Also, I really, really wanted to call him Fluffy," she added.

Pope Benedict delivers seasonal message


Tuesday, 23 December 2008

Does a bear, when shitting in the woods, realise how ridiculous it sounds?

Celibate man who wears velvet and ermine dresses, red Prada shoes and who is inseparable from his dashing young personal assistant, warns against the blurring of traditional gender roles.

Friday, 19 December 2008

Monday, 15 December 2008

Bush finds WMD stash in Iraq

Story here.

UPDATE: Dr Evil henchman Random Task taken into preventative custody.

Sunday, 14 December 2008

Paul: I gave John all his best ideas

How I intervened to stop the Vietnam war, by Paul McCartney.
Tomorrow: How I invented the avant garde, just after I tipped off the Dalai Lama about Buddhism and gave JFK the idea to put a man on the moon.

Friday, 12 December 2008

Tuesday, 9 December 2008

Sapland theme park to close

It was billed as a magical wonderland but yesterday standards agencies stepped in to close down a David Cameron theme park. Thousands of complaints had been received from visitors saying the attraction was a ‘scam' and did not live up to its billing. Action was taken after disappointed families had threatened two elves who were today named as George Osborne and Alan Duncan.

Wednesday, 3 December 2008

Poll: Tories at record levels of sanctimonious cant

An opinion poll published today shows that affected sanctimony amongst Tories is at its highest level for 15 years. Leader David Cameron welcomed the poll which comes in a week in which Tory frontbenchers have lined up to condemn the arrest of Damian Green. "This disgraceful assault on the freedom of Parliament has caused the most serious constitutional crisis since Charles I did that really bad thing, and that was ages ago," said a spokesman for the party today. Asked about the precise relationship between Damian Green and the civil servant at the heart of the leaking row, the spokesman said: "Ooh look, a squirrel!"

Bullingdon Clubbers