Friday, 17 August 2007

Bonnes vacances à tous

Tuesday, 14 August 2007

Monday, 13 August 2007

Blogger assumes new family role

Could alien life exist in the form of DNA-shaped dust?

Space dust can organise itself into DNA-like double helixes that behave like living organisms, reproducing and passing on information to one another, according to boffins looking for aliens. The research challenges long held theories about the appearance of extra terrestrials.

Friday, 10 August 2007

9/11 Truth Campaigner: Collapse was a controlled demolition

Former secret agent David Shayler says that the collapse of his reputation is an inside job and that footage of him claiming to be the Messiah and the reincarnation of Leonardo da Vinci and King Arthur is MI5 propaganda. "We know for certain that the official story isn't true," says Shayler. "My reputation has been brought down in a controlled demolition. Watch the footage frame by frame. The only explanation is that this was a great lump of gristle and cartilage surrounded by holograms made to look like me," he says.

Wednesday, 8 August 2007

New fears over "Tombstoning" craze

Coastguards and police have issued warnings after the Tory party was seriously injured last week. 'Tombstoning', where thrill seekers leap into the sea from cliff tops, is believed to be increasingly popular amongst adrenaline-chasing Conservatives. “We know the party jumped into the sea and that it swam for a short distance before sinking,” a coastguard spokesman said. "Tories don’t tend to see danger, unfortunately, even after that nice youngster William Hague died a few years back after he lurched right onto the rocks below .”

So long and thanks for all the fish

Yangtze River dolphin declared extinct.

Tuesday, 7 August 2007

Bowser Award* handed out

This month's Bowser Award goes to The Independent for use of the word Biosecurity.

Runner up.


*The Bowser is awarded monthly** to the journalist who most confidently uses the buzzword of the moment as if he or she knew what it meant last week.

**Or whatever.

Monday, 6 August 2007

Breaking news - Science Desk

Mondays won't be so insufferable from now on says scientist from the future.

Friday, 3 August 2007

Thursday, 2 August 2007

Bush to cancel 2008 election - Sources

Reports are emerging that President George W Bush is planning an audacious move to prolong his presidency by cancelling the election scheduled for November 2008. Author Harvey Wasserman says it's time to think the unthinkable. "It's extremely likely in my view that this administration will strike Iran from the air, declare a national emergency, and cancel the '08 elections," Wasserman said yesterday. "Bush is just like Hitler. It will be a fourth Reich. There is a medium probability that the Bush/Cheney/Rove gang will stage a dictatorial coup. They've done it before. They've certainly thought about doing it before. Cheney's mentor, President Nixon would have definitely cancelled the 1976 presidential election if he hadn't resigned first. It's not out of the question. These neo-cons can do anything they want. At the very least we cannot ignore the possibility. Look, it's sort of speculative," he added.

Wednesday, 1 August 2007

Fight Night 2 - Place your bets

Latest odds: Weaselly turd given little chance.

Secrets of the brown paper bag revealed

The mystery of what is in the brown paper bags from which late night commuters surreptitiously sip has finally been solved. Londoner Sol Isaacs, speaking last night from his bench in Hyde Park, revealed that the bags "more often than not" contain beer and wine. "I get the shopkeeper to put my Special Brew straight into the bag," he said. "That way nobody ever guesses what I am drinking when I'm on the tube. My friend has a small bottle of Jack Daniels in his. It's a very flexible system," he added.

Bullingdon Clubbers