Embarrassment as Livingstone's secret family expands

Story.

London Mayor Livingstone confident of election victory

Here's to a third term.

Millions hit by vomiting bug

Millions of Londoners have been struck down with severe nausea at the thought that Ken Livingstone might be re-elected Mayor in May. Unusually high levels of vomiting were reported as Londoners realised that Boris Johnson is the alternative. The only cure for "voter vomiting virus", as the Livingstone bug is called, is the destruction of Israel and the stoning of gays.