Israel's bitterest foe yet

Israel faces a new front against a foe potentially more dangerous than Hamas, Hezbollah or Iran. A fierce battle for territory is being fought over the Best UK Blog section of the 2008 Weblog Awards, the winners of which traditionally go on not to win an Academy Award next month.

Neil Clark, last year's winner of the Weblog Awards in the thankfully discontinued Most Unspeakable Twat category, and an extremely well-respected blogger, anti-imperialist and champion of oppressed Muslims everywhere (except quislings and Bosnians), has waged a one-man rearguard action against Israel. Clark, 7, has been a lone voice of principle in a blogosphere too ready to condemn Hamas' modest, home-made rocket fire into Israeli cities and too quick to offer thoughtful commentary on an intractable conflict. Too often critics of Israel have been reluctant to demonise Israel and Zionists, and Clark rightly notes that it is only recently that protesters have felt able to compare Israel to the Nazis.

Israel has responded to Clark with disproportionate force by calling in overnight votes from the US in favour of Melanie Phillips, which is unfair, wrong and Zionist.

Question mark over UK blog poll

Neil Clark, winner of an award for best UK blog, has dismissed suggestions that multiple voting by his supporters inflated his share of the poll. Clark, noted for his support for former Serbian leader Slobodan Milosevic, says he won the poll fair and square. "The reason for my blog's popularity is very simple. The positions I espouse are in tune with the views of the majority of ordinary fascists."

French Open - Controversy over Serb finalist

Political commentator Neil Clark has come under fire from porn surfers for adding gratuitous political comment to a graphic upskirt photograph of Serbian tennis player Ana Ivanovic who reached the final of the French Open this week. One unnamed onanist said today: "It's disgusting. I was quite happily browsing the internet when suddenly I came across this unpleasant apologism for Slobodan Milosevic. It really put me off."

Guardian attacked, but probably the West's fault

A Bosnian Serb militia force attacked the Guardian's offices in Farringdon today, shelling the building and occupying the newsroom. The attack was in response to the shock omission in yesterday's edition of Britain's foremost liberal newspaper of a single article praising or defending Slobodan Milosevic, or downplaying the extent of the Srebrenica massacre.
The leader of the militia, Marco Klaric, said, "You let that Vladimir Putin do an article about democracy the other week. We will not rest until Ratko Mladic has a lifestyle column on Saturdays."
As the paper's male staff members were being led away to an uncertain fate, some columnists were heard to be calling for help from anyone - anyone - except NATO or the West, which would be illegal.