Obama infomercial backfires as Marxist terrorist elite vote collapses

Latest opinion polls suggest that support for Senator Barack Obama amongst the Marxist terrorist elite has halved in recent days. The findings come just days after Obama's 'Infomercial' aired on CBS, NBC and Fox. One Marxist terrorist elitist, who did not wish to be named, says he was disappointed in the broadcast which featured ordinary Americans talking about their economic struggles. "I won't be voting on Tuesday, I'll just be having a normal day, sipping latte and eating sushi," says the Northern Virginian professor. "Damn you America," he adds.

Police to get extra powers

Government proposals to give the police controversial new powers have been criticised by the Opposition and civil liberties campaigners.
The Home Secretary, Jacqui Smith, outlined the new powers in an interview yesterday. "In this complex world, the police need greater powers to counter the serious threats we face. The old ways of masks and capes will no longer do. The police need to be able to regenerate from the most serious wounds, travel through time, and be really telekinetic. For up to 56 days."
The embattled Metropolitan Police Commissioner, Sir Ian Blair, facing renewed calls for his resignation, backed up Ms Smith. "Save the cheerleader, save the world," he said. "Do you want to see me fly or go invisible?"