Moon landings hoax: New evidence emerges

As the 40th anniversary approaches, new evidence has emerged that the moon landings were an elaborate hoax. Analysis of the television programme Lunar Jim, which chronicles the moon life of astronaut Jim and his team – Robot Dog Rover, Ripple, Eco, and T.E.D. the Technical Equipment Device - suggests that the images apparently being beamed back to earth are staged, probably in the Nevada desert. Bill Kaysing, for many years a leading hoax theorist, says that Lunar Jim is yet more NASA funded propaganda. "If you look carefully you can see that Jim's flag flutters in a breeze - yet there is no air on the moon at all! Plus you couldn't have that cow and that chicken just walking around on the moon like that." A tight lipped CBeebies spokesman would confirm only that Lunar Jim is intended as "a children's cartoon."

New evidence in lunar "hoax" conspiracy

Internet chat boards have been buzzing for weeks with the emergence of new evidence that the moon landings were an elaborate hoax. Excited conspiracy theorists say that analysis of the television programme Lunar Jim, which chronicles the moon life of astronaut Jim and his team – Robot Dog Rover, Ripple, Eco, and T.E.D. the Technical Equipment Device - shows that the images apparently being beamed back to earth are staged, probably in the Nevada desert. Bill Kaysing, for many years a leading hoax theorist, says that Lunar Jim is yet more NASA funded propaganda. "If you look carefully you can see that Jim's flag flutters in a breeze - yet there is no air on the moon at all! Plus you couldn't have that cow and that chicken just walking around on the moon like that." A tight lipped CBeebies spokesman would confirm only that Lunar Jim is intended as "a children's cartoon."

Obama conspiracy theorist suffers fatal erection

Conspiracy theorist Ted Byrd died yesterday moments after watching Chief Justice John Roberts and "President" Barack Obama stumble through the oath of office during the inauguration in Washington. Byrd, who has lately claimed that Obama is ineligible for office, suffered a massive and fatal erection whilst watching the ceremony on Fox News.
Friends of Byrd say he died a happy man. "He pointed at the television and said 'He's not technically President,' and then he keeled over," said pal Jim Lawrence today. "His last words were 'That awkward syntactic muddle had all the hallmarks of the Illuminati,' and then he was gone. It's the way he would have wanted it," he added.
The White House today would only confirm that the new President is a puppet of the military-industrial complex hellbent on profitable endless war and suppression of the peoples of the world.

Entire Beijing Olympics faked

The 2008 Beijing Olympics are a complete fabrication and were shot on a secret movie set with trained Hollywood actors. The sporting fakery is far more extensive than previously thought, and goes beyond discoveries that the opening ceremony included computer-generated fireworks and a 9-year old singer who mimed to a recording. "First off, the Birds Nest stadium looks just like that lot in Nevada where they shot the moon landings," says National Enquirer editor David Perel. "And now the UK is winning gold medals in athletic events that aren't also upper class hobbies? No, sir. I don't buy it." London 2012 Olympic committee chairman Sebastian Coe pledges that there will be no such attempts at massive misrepresentation when the games come to the UK. "We got all that out of our system when the funding bids were submitted."

Diana inquest verdict: murdered by Prince Philip*

The inquest into the death of Princess Diana has delivered the widely-anticipated verdict that a pregnant Princess Diana and her fiance Dodi Fayed were murdered by MI6 under the instructions of Prince Philip. The jury found that the Royal Family, incensed by the prospect of a Muslim stepfather to the future King of Great Britain, instructed MI6 to assassinate the couple. MI6 carried out the murder, utilising a strobe light in the Alma Tunnel in Paris, with a secret agent driving a white Fiat Uno into the couple's Mercedes limousine. Police said they would now arrest Queen Elizabeth, Prince Philip and other senior members of the Royal Family and charge them with murder. Until the extent of the knowledge of the Royal conspiracy can be known, a Regent will be appointed as Head of State. MI6 will be disbanded and the entire Government will be arrested.

*Of course not. You idiots.

Hoax, or hostile act by the masonic overlords that seek to rule every aspect of our existence?

London Eye's Illuminati link to Great Pyramid of Cheops revealed.

Conspiracy Vault: Emmerdale plane crash - Jews “had prior warning”

More than a dozen Jewish farm workers stayed at home as a plane crashed into the sleepy Yorkshire village of Emmerdale in 1993, according to a new film released today. The 70 minute film, 'Emmerdale – the Israeli Connection', alleges that the workers had been tipped off by Israel's intelligence agency Mossad, and did not appear for work on the day of the horrific crash in which many villagers were killed or injured. One contributor to the programme says: “Is it any coincidence that some individuals made millions selling shares in kosher lamb that very day?” Meanwhile an Israeli government spokesman has dismissed the film’s claim that Israel's then prime minister Yitzhak Rabin cancelled a night out at the Woolpack only days before the attack.

Government to nationalise Al Fayed

The Chancellor, Alastair Darling, has announced that urgent legislation will be put before the House of Commons to place Mohammed Al Fayed into public ownership. Darling defended the government's actions, saying, "the taxpayer already faces potential costs of up to £100bn as a result of reckless and irresponsible inquiries into conspiracy theories involving Prince Phillip, Nazis and MI6."

Economists are concerned that no one knows the true extent of the worthless claims, which have been packaged and sold around the world in recent years. In his evidence before the 5th Annual Inquest Into The Deaths Of Princess Diana And Dodi, Mr Fayed - whose real name ends with 'Frankenstein' - accused not only Tony Blair and Jack Straw, but French intelligence agents and the CIA, indicating that the crisis is moving from the sub-prime minister sector to the wider world.

The Chancellor rejected claims that the government should not be in the Fayed business. "He's a clown and a buffoon, with more money than sense. What's your point?"

Conspiracy vault: New evidence of lunar hoax

Internet chat boards have been buzzing for weeks with the emergence of new evidence that the moon landings were an elaborate hoax. Excited conspiracy theorists say that analysis of the television programme Lunar Jim, which chronicles the moon life of astronaut Jim and his team – Robot Dog Rover, Ripple, Eco, and T.E.D. the Technical Equipment Device - shows that the images apparently being beamed back to earth are staged, probably in the Nevada desert. Bill Kaysing, for many years a leading hoax theorist, says that Lunar Jim is yet more NASA funded propaganda. "If you look carefully you can see that Jim's flag flutters in a breeze - yet there is no air on the moon at all! Plus you couldn't have that cow and that chicken just walking around on the moon like that." A tight lipped CBeebies spokesman would confirm only that Lunar Jim is intended as "a children's cartoon."

Senator McCain 'not a Manchurian Candidate'

Friends of Republican Senator John McCain have firmly rejected conspiracy theories that he is a brainwashed "Manchurian Candidate" bidding to become US president. McCain, who was a prisoner of war in North Vietnam for five years, has been offered support by President George Bush, whose policies the senator strongly opposed in the early years of his administration until he radically and unexpectedly shifted positions to completely agree with them. "John McCain is an independent thinker and these crackpot accusations are beyond offensive," Bush told reporters, before turning to address McCain directly. "Lieutenant McCain... Lieutenant John McCain... John Sidney McCain... Listen," Bush said, holding up a Queen of Diamonds playing card.

Madeleine McCann: New expert evidence revealed

Whichever way you look at this case, the parents have got to be guilty. I'm sorry, but these so called well educated ‘pillars of society’ should not be allowed to get off scot free. How can intelligent people believe it's perfectly acceptable to leave three very young children alone in a foreign country? I've got to say I always thought there was something odd about that whole group of friends, the Tapas 9 I call them. When it all went terribly wrong on the night of May 3rd they obviously covered the whole thing up and faked the abduction of poor little Madeleine. I hope the angels are with her wherever she is. Sorry, but I have instinctively felt that they were suspect from the very beginning and I trust my sixth sense. I really think they are 100% guilty. I heard they were swingers too. And what about the 40 questions they refused to answer? One of the parents, I forget which, told the police that the window of the room was wide open and the shutters were up but apparently those shutters were very difficult to lift from the outside, and would have made a lot of noise. It's not difficult to join the dots, is it? And what about the DNA, body fluids, all that putrefaction, in the hire car? Those dogs can smell dead bodies you know. Now they're saying the dogs can be put off by the scent of a piece of pork - but would a trained dog really be fooled by a dodgy piece of pork? They must have moved the body, and they must have had outside help, what with being watched by the police and the media twenty four hours a day. It's obvious. Also, I heard they're doing tests to see if the sperm used in the IVF treatment was really Gerry's, and if it isn't, well there's his motive to kill the child if he knew she wasn't really his daughter. And as for Kate, apparently she couldn't cope with the children at all. She says all she ever wanted was to have kids but she was obviously a terrible mother, very aggressive they say, a depressive. Her a doctor as well. It's obvious she accidentally over sedated poor little Maddie. The hair in the car proves that. And did you see her afterwards? A bit too composed if you ask me, a bit too groomed, all those nice clothes. Unfeeling, that's what it is. The coldness of a killer, perhaps. Certainly not fit to be a mother. And why is that Branson getting in on the act? And I would have thought Gordon Brown had more important things to do with his time, like running a country, perhaps? Friends in high places, that's what it is. Apparently there's a link with the Masons as well. And just how much money and fame are the McCanns, getting out of it? The McSpins, I call them, the McScams. If they had organised their child care as meticulously as their press and PR campaign then perhaps, just perhaps, little Maddie would still be with us today.

Breaking News: Nuclear Desk

Nuclear bomb missing - 'search' for Fossett just a cover.

9/11 Truth Campaigner: Collapse was a controlled demolition

Former secret agent David Shayler says that the collapse of his reputation is an inside job and that footage of him claiming to be the Messiah and the reincarnation of Leonardo da Vinci and King Arthur is MI5 propaganda. "We know for certain that the official story isn't true," says Shayler. "My reputation has been brought down in a controlled demolition. Watch the footage frame by frame. The only explanation is that this was a great lump of gristle and cartilage surrounded by holograms made to look like me," he says.

Bush to cancel 2008 election - Sources

Reports are emerging that President George W Bush is planning an audacious move to prolong his presidency by cancelling the election scheduled for November 2008. Author Harvey Wasserman says it's time to think the unthinkable. "It's extremely likely in my view that this administration will strike Iran from the air, declare a national emergency, and cancel the '08 elections," Wasserman said yesterday. "Bush is just like Hitler. It will be a fourth Reich. There is a medium probability that the Bush/Cheney/Rove gang will stage a dictatorial coup. They've done it before. They've certainly thought about doing it before. Cheney's mentor, President Nixon would have definitely cancelled the 1976 presidential election if he hadn't resigned first. It's not out of the question. These neo-cons can do anything they want. At the very least we cannot ignore the possibility. Look, it's sort of speculative," he added.

Dead pop stars: latest news

John Lennon still popular.

Tupac Shakur faked own death, due to return tomorrow.

Genesis play Live Earth.

Chaos as terror returns to London

After this morning's foiled bomb attack in London the already muddled thinking of former Ambassador and prominent government critic Craig Murray was today utterly chaotic. A police spokesman said this afternoon that Murray's thinking is not expected to return to normal.

Tributes paid to offensive comedian

Truth Campaigners are this afternoon paying tribute to Michael Moore who, moments after casting doubt on the official version of the events of 9/11, was sadly declared still alive, aged 53.

In other news, an idiot defends Bernard Manning.

"Do you have any light reading?"

Several sharp-eyed investigators have uncovered a disturbing clue embedded in the new 2012 Olympics logo which suggests that the Jews are planning to open a new front in their ceaseless quest to take over the world: sports.

David Morris, part-time director of the previously defunct Sports Sub-Division of the Committee of the Elders of Zion, said, "Let's face it, we've been nowhere since the infiltration of Agent Spitz into the 1972 Olympics.

"I just don't know whether we've got the talent to pull it off," he added, "but with Agents Spielberg and Streisand on board, at least we'll put on one hell of an opening show."

New evidence reveals truth about John Lennon murder

Startling evidence has emerged which proves that Richard Nixon and Ronald Reagan arranged for the assassination of former Beatle John Lennon in 1980, and that the murderer was not Mark Chapman but someone altogether more surprising.

Spending increase boosts economy

Spending by credulous idiots has quadrupled over the last year, the treasury has revealed. The figures have been welcomed by the government: "The news that these gullible pricks will spend their money on any old rubbish is a real boost for the economy," a spokesperson said this afternoon.