London Man not giving up on Kate Winslet

A Londoner spoke tonight about how he still has hopes of meeting and marrying film star Kate Winslet. David Burns says that although he is older now than when his obsession began over ten years ago, he feels he is still in with a chance with the newly separated star. He is encouraged by recent developments, he says. "Since my own divorce I've been writing to Kate more often than before," says the lawyer from his home in Camden. "By chance I discovered that her agent's office is near mine so I can pop round there most lunch times to leave presents for Kate. Little things, really. Things I've made," he says. Burns, 41, has vowed never to give up on his dream. "When she finally sees the many, many photographs I've sent her I'm certain she'll give me a call," he adds.

UK showbusiness shut down in awards shame

Gordon Brown has placed the entire British film industry under house arrest after Kate Winslet's poorly acted, embarrassing and self-important acceptance speech at Sunday's Golden Globe awards. Winslet and her fellow over-emoters are also to be banned from talking about their feelings or referring to their work as "remarkable" or "extraordinary".

Explaining his actions, Gordon Brown said this evening "This embarrassing behaviour must stop. I'll let them out when they realise all they do is dress up and read out other people's words whilst pouting".

London man still not given up on Winslet

A Londoner spoke this week about how he has retained his decade long hope of meeting and marrying film star Kate Winslet. David Burns says that although he is older now than when his obsession began over ten years ago, he feels he is still in with a chance with the married star. He is encouraged by recent developments, he says. "Since my divorce I've been writing to Kate more often than before," says the lawyer from his home in Camden. "By chance I discovered that her agent's office is near mine so I can pop round there most lunch times to leave presents for Kate. Little things, really. Things I've made." Burns, 41, has vowed never to give up on his dream. "When she sees the photographs I'm certain she'll give me a call," he adds.