Clarke and Milburn deny menacing Brown

Charles Clarke and Alan Milburn denied, at a press conference on Wednesday, that the launch of their new website calling for a new direction for Labour was motivated by personal animus towards Gordon Brown. Their campaign, called "A world without Brown," is, they said, concerned purely with policy issues. "We need to ensure that the future of the Labour Government is not dependent on Gordon," said Clarke. "If something were to happen to him..."

"Or his lovely wife and children," interrupted Milburn, who appeared suddenly from the shadows at the back of the hall, wreathed in cigarette smoke.

"Yes, we mustn't forget Sarah and the boys," Clarke snarled, his face contorting beneath a snap brim fedora. "And we won't."