Triffids expected week on Tuesday - Blears to blame says Monbiot

Top boffins are warning that a comet which blasts out poisonous gases is heading towards Earth. Comet Lulin, which glows an eerie green colour is expected to shower meteorites on earth, leaving all those who witness it blind, and infecting the planet with venomous triffids. Environmental campaigner George Monbiot said this morning that cabinet minister Hazel Blears is directly to blame for the problem. "Her record clearly shows she has never once voted against man-eating killer plants. In fact she is STRONGLY IN FAVOUR OF THEM," he shouted. "If I had my way she would be IN PRISON," he added. "THEY WOULD ALL BE IN PRISON."