Blair Babes turn on Brown

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Hazel Blears under fire over second home expenses

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Triffids expected week on Tuesday - Blears to blame says Monbiot

Top boffins are warning that a comet which blasts out poisonous gases is heading towards Earth. Comet Lulin, which glows an eerie green colour is expected to shower meteorites on earth, leaving all those who witness it blind, and infecting the planet with venomous triffids. Environmental campaigner George Monbiot said this morning that cabinet minister Hazel Blears is directly to blame for the problem. "Her record clearly shows she has never once voted against man-eating killer plants. In fact she is STRONGLY IN FAVOUR OF THEM," he shouted. "If I had my way she would be IN PRISON," he added. "THEY WOULD ALL BE IN PRISON."

Hazel Blears saved from drowning in inch of water

There was widespread sadness last week after Hazel Blears, miniature candidate for Labour deputy leader, was saved from drowning in a one inch puddle by supporter Stephen Pound MP.

Spending increase boosts economy

Spending by credulous idiots has quadrupled over the last year, the treasury has revealed. The figures have been welcomed by the government: "The news that these gullible pricks will spend their money on any old rubbish is a real boost for the economy," a spokesperson said this afternoon.