Showing posts with label Nick Clegg. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Nick Clegg. Show all posts

Thursday, 13 May 2010

Tuesday, 4 May 2010

Thursday, 29 April 2010

Clegg vows to remember the names of everyone

During the final televised leaders' debate last night Nick Clegg pledged to remember the name of every voter in Britain. "Nadine?" he said, "do I have that right? Yes, Nadine, that's a good question, and it goes back to something I was saying to Gavin a few moments ago. You deserve an answer, as does Mohammed, Dennis, Joe - and Jo! - and the Shah family."

He went on: "Bill, Mrs Merriwether, the Barnetts, you don't want the same old answers from the same old parties, and nor do you, Chantelle, Vicky, and Justin, Soresh, Dianne, Joshua - it is Joshua, isn't it?"

"I want a Britain that's fairer, Sarah," he said, "I have a new plan, Stan, and I won't be coy, Roy, so get yourself free."

Tuesday, 20 April 2010

Royal Navy on standby to rescue David Cameron


Three Royal Navy ships have been sent to rescue thousands of Tories stranded by the volcanic Clegg. Tests yesterday showed that the quantities of Clegg in British airspace is lower than previously but scientists fear further eruptions might dash Tory hopes of a return home. The air traffic control company NATS said in a statement: "A new Clegg cloud is spreading south and east towards the CCHQ and the situation for Mr Cameron this morning remains uncertain." Desperate Tories have been returning home any way they can, many resorting to old fashioned Tebbitism.

Crowds gather as Cleggmania gathers pace

Thursday, 30 April 2009

Thursday, 18 September 2008

Nick Clegg: Make It Milky With Two Sugars


Nick Clegg wowed the Liberal Democrat faithful yesterday in his first conference speech as leader as he promised to guide his party to victory at the next election. His confident claim echoed the cry by former leader David Steel in 1981. Clegg received a three second standing ovation as he told delegates: "Go home to your constituencies and prepare yourself a lethal cocktail of prescription drugs you bunch of weirdy vegan bastards."

Monday, 31 December 2007

Wednesday, 19 December 2007

"People's Politics" reveals People to be idiots


Nick Clegg's announcement that he will create a nationwide panel of families to advise him on the issues of concern to them has led to some radical rethinking of Liberal Democrat policies. Early polling suggests the key issues of concern to ordinary families across Britain include the unavailability of Nintendo DS in time for Christmas; the treatment of X-Factor's Rhydian and the proliferation of parent and child parking spaces in Asda's car park. Proportional representation and the future of Kosovo were not thought to feature in the top ten.

Bullingdon Clubbers