Hain finds quiet spot to contemplate end of cabinet career

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Hain: Can I borrow a tanner?

Work and Pensions Secretary Peter Hain has come under fire for failing to declare over £100,000 donated as part of his campaign to become Neath's "Mr All-Over Tan Of The Year" for the 17th consecutive year. Mr Hain came 5th.
"Bronzing Oil don't come cheap," he said in a prepared statement.
Laboratoire Garnier, makers of Ambre Solaire, are reported to have gone into receivership following the news of Mr Hain's difficulties.

Hain in last ditch appeal for votes

Peter Hain has attempted to shore up his faltering campaign for the deputy leadership of the Labour Party by appealing to grassroots voters. In a speech today to the National Sunbed Association he outlined his vision. "I passionately believe that we need to reach out to the people who share our values, but who are no longer turning to Labour. I say this to anyone who has ever laid themselves down beneath a sunbed, to anyone who has ever opened a bottle of tanning lotion, to anyone who has ever bronzed themselves beneath the blazing cadmium sun of the Eastern Veld: join me. Vote Hain for an all over golden future."